How to Become Invisible in Your Dreams

Whether you want to become invisible to avoid parental or spousal expectations, the prying eye of corporations and the state, or just to escape society’s absurd expectations for female beauty, this handy guide will set you in the right direction. Don’t worry if you want to be invisible in real life, too–once you’ve done it in your dreams, the real thing comes easy. Let’s start with the basics.

  1. Dismiss your other powers. No more fireballs thrown at old bullies. No more healing bitten apples and broken bones. To become invisible is to diminish. If the demons in your dreams see so much as a shadow, you have failed.
  2. Learn to hide. In this early stage of your preparation, I recommend the deepest, darkest corners you can find. Follow one of your monsters home, when the poor sucker thinks you’ve chickened out and woken up. Don’t be afraid–at least not of monsters. If you stay with them long enough, they will acclimate to your presence, and consider you one of their own.
  3. Learn to step out of your body. Leave it somewhere safe–six feet under should do–and slide into the walls. With your heart racing, flood the earth and become the wind that soars upwards screaming, that cannot be held, and aches at the thought of being seen. If the world were not a prison, you would have no need to become invisible in your dreams. Leave it behind.


If in spite of all of your precautions, you begin to change, fight it. Look in the mirror in your dreams every night, no matter how painful. Pull away your clothes from your back, and if you see something thin and white growing out of your shoulder blades, grind it back down to dust. Keep the scabs covered, and keep them hidden in a dark place. If you do this every night, you stand a chance of being invisible forever, and that’s what you want, isn’t it?